About the Coping and Rebuilding Programs
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 The Coping and Rebuilding are programs to help people manage the trauma of  separation, divorce, or widowhood.  Volunteer facilitators, each of whom has participated in the programs, work with groups of participants to give support and share experiences.  Anyone may participate. Since the first Washington DC-area session in 1989, thousands of people have taken these programs to help them through the ending of their relationships. The Arlington Diocese Office for Family Life sponsors both programs. Participants of any religious affiliation are very welcome.

The Coping program is best suited for those recently out of their relationships. Coping is begins in October (on the first Sunday after Columbus Day). There are six Coping meetings, each for two hours on Sunday evenings.  

The Rebuilding program is best suited for those out of their relationships for a year or so.  Rebuilding begins in February (on the first Sunday after Presidents' Day).  There are nine Rebuilding meetings, each for two hours on Sunday evenings.

Please note, neither program is for couples counseling, therapy, or dating. No childcare is provided, and the sessions are for participants only. We do not provide transportation assistance, but participants may make carpool arrangements between themselves.


Rebuilding
The Rebuilding Program is designed for adults that are separated, divorced or widowed who are beyond the initial trauma and wanting to move on.  The program generally follows the book "Rebuilding - When Your Relationship Ends" by Bruce Fisher (this book is given to participants at the first meetings, and is paid for by their registration fee).   Weekly topics are intended to "form" stepping stones that help one move ahead with rebuilding his/her life.

Rebuilding meetings are held from 6PM - 8PM (we suggest you arrive by 5:30) on Sunday evenings for nine weeks (excluding Easter).  The next Rebuilding program begins February 22, 2009.

Rebuilding topics include:

  • Rebuilding blocks
  • Grief
  • Fear
  • Guilt and rejection
  • Anger
  • Self worth, letting go
  • Openness, trust, and risks
  • Relationships
  • Picnic
Participants read the relevant chapter prior to each meeting.  Facilitators give a presentation about their experience with the topic, followed by smaller breakout groups with facilitators and participants.

Rebuilding meetings are held in a senior center located near the Duke Street East exit of Rt. 395 (Shirley Highway) in Virginia (location and directions).  The $45 registration fee helps cover the costs of the books, facilities, handout materials, and other expenses incurred by the program.  Rebuilding usually has between 30-60 participants.  Registration is on a first come basis, with the exception that those who have taken Coping are given preference.  Advance registration is recommended (see Contacts) , but walk-ins are accepted during the first two of the nine meetings.


Coping
The Coping program is designed for adults who very recently lost a spouse through separation, divorce, or death, and for whom the trauma of that new loss is acute. The next coping session is given Sunday October 19, 2009.  Weekly topics include:
  • Dealing with the past
  • Loneliness
  • Anger
  • Changes in relationships, and 
  • Growth 
Two types of presentations are given by the facilitators every week.  One is "factual," describing the feelings, causes, effects, and resolution of each topic.  The other presentation is "experiential," where the facilitator tells the story of how s/he moved on with that issue. The presentations are followed by smaller breakout groups with facilitators and participants.  Widows and widowers have separate breakout groups from people going through separation or divorce. The breakout groups give participants the opportunity to talk about their experiences and to support each other.

Coping sessions are held in a school conveniently located near the Rt. 50 E Beltway exit in Falls Church, Virginia (location and directions).   The $5/session fee helps to cover the costs of the facilities and provisions.  There are typically about 40 participants per season, and registration is on a first-come basis. Advance registration  is recommended (see the contact page), but walk-ins are accepted. 


Format (both programs)
Coping and Rebuilding sessions are guided by facilitators who, themselves, are separated, divorced, or widowed.  Facilitators work with participants to help them through the topics discussed in the programs.  Participants interact and work together. Everyone helps each other.  

Each meeting is approximately two hours long.  During the first hour of the meeting, a facilitator presents an introduction to the topic and makes relevant announcements. Facilitators talk about the topic of the week, and one or more of them gives a personal talk about their experience.  During the second hour, everyone moves to breakout groups, each with one or more facilitators. Widows and widowers have their own breakout group (with facilitators who are widowed); the other breakout groups are for people going through separation and/or divorce. In the breakout groups, everyone helps each other by discussing feelings, thoughts, concerns, and experiences related to the topic.  

This page last updated October 15, 2008